I’ll never forget how intimidated I was when I started lifting weights back in 2011. Although I received some strength training education in high school, it had been years since I spent much time in the weight room. I was a shy, overweight young woman cautiously wandering into a campus gym filled with loud, sweaty college bros. I stuck out like a sore thumb and felt like everyone was watching me, silently judging me for not knowing what I was doing.

Over time, I learned a few things about spending time in a weight room:

Many people in the weight room don’t really know what they’re doing, even if they act like they do. Lots of people are just making it up as they go.
Everyone in the weight room is totally preoccupied with themselves. They are rarely paying attention to you or what you’re doing.

These days, I feel completely at home in the weight room. It’s even become a sanctuary of sorts where I can get in the zone, de-stress, and push my mental and physical limits. I’ve helped dozens of clients build their own confidence in the weight room, no matter how scary or overwhelming it was at first.

Keep reading to learn the skills you’ll need in order to walk confidently into any weight room, even if you don’t have any prior lifting experience.

Weight Room Etiquette 101

Before we go over what to do during your workouts, a few notes about polite gym behavior:

If someone is using the piece of equipment you need, you can ask to work in with them. This means you will trade off sets (take turns) rather than standing around waiting. If the person says no, you can either wait for them to finish or choose a different exercise.
If the gym is busy, it’s impolite to occupy multiple pieces of equipment at once. Modify your workouts as necessary by choosing different exercises or breaking up supersets. You can also work in with others to share equipment if possible.
My biggest gym pet peeve is when people stand directly in front of the dumbbell racks so other people can’t access them. Please, please, grab whatever weights you need and get out of the way to perform your sets. Don’t crowd people who are in the middle of a set or block major walkways.
Always clean up after yourself. This means re-rack weights, unload bars, put away mats and smaller equipment, and wipe off benches.

How do I know what equipment to use?

When you walk into a weight room, you’ll see dozens of different tools, machines, and implements. How do you know which ones to use?

I recommend starting with bodyweight exercises. If you can’t move well or control your own body in space, you’ll have a hard time lifting additional weight safely.

Next, progress to dumbbells and kettlebells. Dumbbells are my favorite gym tool because they’re incredibly versatile and easily scalable for different ability levels. Most gyms have a set of dumbbells even if they have little other equipment.

Kettlebells are also great, but they aren’t available at every gym and require a bit more practice to master form. You can build impressive strength and a great body using only dumbbells and/or kettlebells.

I also love using the TRX or cable pulley systems. These are especially great for performing pulling and core exercises.

Some trainers villainize weight machines, but I use them often with my clients. If you’re a beginner lifter working out on your own, machines can be safer and less confusing than free weights. Never use a machine that causes pain or feels especially uncomfortable.

Read more about machines: Three things I’ve changed my mind about – training

If you’re a beginner, stay away from barbells for a while. Barbells are fantastic tools for lifting lots of weight, but the technical demands of barbell lifts make them a poor choice if you’re just starting out. Focus on mastering your bodyweight, dumbbells, and kettlebells before you consider progressing to barbells.

How do I know which exercises to do?

I use a few basic exercises with all my clients. If you can master the form and add weight to the exercises on this list, I guarantee you’ll start to move better, feel stronger, and look better.

Lower body push

Bodyweight squat

Goblet Squat:

Goblet box squat

Lower body pull

Hip hinge drills:

Dumbbell Romanian Deadlift

Pull-through:

Kettlebell deadlift

Swiss ball leg curl

Upper body push

Elevated pushup

Dumbbell floor press:

Dumbbell bench press

Upper body pull

Inverted row

Seated low row

Half-kneeling cable row:

Core

Plank:

Dead bug:

Bird dog

Pallof press

Loaded carries:

Putting it all together

Now that you know which tools to use and which exercises to perform, it’s time to put everything together into a training session.

Always start your workouts with a short dynamic warm-up, such as this one:

I like to perform core exercise right after the warm-up. Choose 1-2 core exercises and perform 2-4 sets of 8-12 reps. If you’re performing a timed core exercise such as a plank, start with 10-15 seconds.

Next, include two supersets of compound exercises. A superset is a pair of opposing exercises performed back-to-back. For example, you can perform a set of goblet squats followed by a set of seated low rows. I always pair lower body pushes with upper body pulls, and lower body pulls with upper body pushes. You can pick one exercise from each of the categories I listed above.

Perform 2-4 sets of each superset with anywhere from 6-12 reps of each exercise. Fewer reps = heavier weights, more reps = lighter weights. If you’re short on time, you can combine all four compound movements into one giant circuit.

If you want to complete any isolation work like curls, tricep pressdowns, or shoulder raises, save it for the end. I also recommend saving cardio or high intensity interval training for the end of your sessions.

Read more: All about cardio

For best results, you should be lifting weights twice per week at minimum. Your sessions can be as short as 20 minutes if you’re crunched for time. Over time, you can work up to 3-4 lifting sessions per week. You can also increase your weekly training commitment by performing additional lower-intensity cardio sessions on your off days.

Venturing into the weight room doesn’t have to be scary. With a bit of knowledge and a plan, even the shyest person can start weight training, build confidence, and make progress toward their goals.

It’s tough to get the ball rolling with exercise, but I have tips that can help. Join my email list here and I’ll send you my FREE 5 day course on how to become a more consistent exerciser.