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What to do if you don’t like working out right away

I’m a huge fan of craft coffee and beer.

I start every day with a few cups of hot black coffee from a local roaster. On the weekends, I sometimes I enjoy a beer or two. My favorite styles are quite heavy: IPAs, double IPAs, stouts, and Belgians.

My boyfriend loves fancy gins and bourbons, which he usually drinks straight with just a twist of citrus.

Coffee, beer, and liquor are all acquired tastes. Children don’t like these things, and most adults don’t even like them on the first try.

It takes repeated exposure and experimentation to discover what we like and develop a palate that can appreciate complex flavors.

I didn’t start drinking coffee or beer until I was in college (sorry mom.) Even then, it took some time for me to transition from sugary coffee drinks or the cheap beer of college house parties to the craft coffees and beers I like now.

My boyfriend had a similar experience with gin and bourbon. Over many years, he has experimented with different types and learned more about what he likes and doesn’t like. Now that he can identify subtle differences that would have once escaped him, his experience is a lot richer and more fulfilling.

Fitness can also be an acquired taste.

It’s true that some people have always been athletic or loved to work out. For the rest of us, however, our first experiences with exercise were not so enjoyable:

  • You may have always been clumsy or unathletic (this was me as a kid.)
  • Perhaps you never felt like you belonged on a sports team or with the fit people at the gym (also me.)
  • Maybe all of your past attempts to get in shape ended badly, thus reinforcing the story that working out just isn’t for you.

My message for you today is that, if you’re willing to try again and be open minded, you can almost certainly find some form of exercise that works for you.

A few examples from my own journey:

  • I hated playing team sports. I had a lot more fun and made faster progress when I started competing against myself in the weight room.
  • I hated running and therefore wrote off all cardio. Years later, I realized I really love riding my bike and that I actually enjoy doing a lot of cardio.
  • Recently, I’ve started rock climbing on a regular basis. I really sucked at first and could have easily given up. Instead, I kept showing up and my enjoyment has increased along with my skills.

Much like you won’t like every food or beverage item that’s an acquired taste (I’m not going to be drinking my boyfriend’s fancy gins anytime soon), you won’t necessarily love every style of exercise.

I also would not expect anything to feel like love at first sight. You need to give an activity enough tries to get out of the awkward initial stages to see if it’s truly a good fit for you.

Think back to your other acquired tastes: it’s unlikely that you were sold on the first try. Instead, you probably enjoyed yourself in an unexpected way that piqued your curiosity. You can follow those same signs when you’re trying out different styles of exercise.

Very few people like bourbon the first time they try it. Working out may be similar. You have to try it a few times to figure out what you like.

To summarize:

  • Even if you haven’t been successful in the past, there are absolutely styles of exercise that will be a good fit for you. There are simply too many ways to move your body for this not to be the case.
  • You may need to try lots of different stuff to see what sticks.
  • It’s likely that whatever you do decide to stick with will still be an acquired taste to some extend. Keep showing up, look for ways to get a little better all the time, and don’t forget to make it fun.

Struggling to adopt a consistent exercise routine despite repeated attempts and good intentions? This is one of the biggest struggles I hear from new clients.

That’s why I created my 4C System to help you become a more consistent exerciser. I teach this simple, practical system in a free five-day email course. You can sign up to get the course using the box below.

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How to know you’re making progress

Getting in shape – whether that means crushing it at the gym, losing weight, or just feeling healthier in general – is a long game.

No matter what goals you’re chasing, you can bet you will need to work at them for months and years.

It makes me sad to see how many people give up on themselves before they’ve been at it long enough to see the true results of their efforts.

Some people try to do way too much and once and end up flaming out.

Other people focus exclusively on the most obvious measures of progress and ignore all the other signs that they’re moving in the right direction.

Both of these approaches set you up to fail. We have to be patient and keep showing up for ourselves if we truly want to transform the way we look, feel, and perform. This is why it’s so important to take a sustainable approach to training and eating.

We also need to adjust some of our expectations (for example, in regards to how much weight you’ll add to the bar each week or how fast the scale will drop) and expand our definition of what it means to progress in the first place.

Here are a bunch of things you can look for to tell you that you’re moving in the right direction.

Signs of progress toward your strength training goals:

  • Lifting more weight
  • Doing more total volume (sets and reps)
  • More density (doing more volume in the same amount of time)
  • Using better form
  • Things just feel easier
  • You’re able to train without pain
  • Progressing to a more advanced variation of an exercise (eg. moving from kettlebell deadlifts to trap bar deadlifts)
  • Changing the lifting tempo (slowing down, adding pauses, speeding up)
  • Increasing your workout frequency (how often you train)
  • Increasing your workout consistency

Read more: How to bust through training plateaus

 Signs of progress toward your weight loss goals:

  • Scale weight goes down
  • Measurements (like waist, chest, hips, arms, etc.) go down
  • Body fat % goes down
  • Clothes fit better, or you go down a size
  • You notice changes in the mirror or in progress photos
  • Other people notice changes (even if you can’t see them)
  • You feel lighter and more energized
  • You can consistently stick with your diet
  • Reduced instances of binge eating or completely falling off the wagon
  • Less stress and anxiety around food

Read more: To Weigh or Not to Weigh? The Many Ways to Measure Fat Loss Progress.

 Signs of progress toward building a healthy lifestyle: 

  • Sleeping 7-9 hours each night
  • Regularly including things that help you recover from training (eg. massage, low intensity movement, foam rolling and mobility work)
  • You can consistently stick with your diet (can be a generally healthy diet, does not need to be geared toward fat loss)
  • Less stress and anxiety around food
  • You can delay gratification in the short term so you will feel better in the long term
  • You feel lighter and more energized
  • Increasing your workout consistency
  • Increasing your activity outside the gym
  • Increasing your daily step count
  • Able to complete physical tasks that used to be out of reach
  • Reduced aches and pains
  • You feel less stressed out
  • Health metrics and/or bloodwork improves

I’m willing to bet that no matter how hard you are on yourself, you can find a few things in each category that already apply to you.

Keep going, keep an open mind, and reach out for help if you’re not sure what needs to change.

Are you feeling frustrated with your progress toward your goals? Sometimes we all need some help and guidance to make sure we’re moving in the right direction. You can apply for my 1:1 coaching program here.

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My Fat Loss Coaching Framework

There are a lot of diets and fat loss coaches out there. Nearly all of them have good intentions and really want to help you be successful (although there are a few charlatans just out to make a quick buck.)

However, good intentions don’t always lead to good results. If your diet fails to follow scientific principles or if it’s too restrictive, you’ll struggle to lose weight.

Furthermore, if the diet doesn’t help you make lasting changes to your lifestyle and environment, you’ll have a hard time keeping off any weight you do lose.

Any successful diet will focus on energy balance (establishing a caloric deficit) and work with your psychology (preferences, routines, beliefs) to help you make long-term, sustainable changes. Leaving out any of these pieces will make it nearly impossible to get and stay lean. 

Keep reading to learn the exact process I use with fat loss coaching clients to help them achieve their goals without falling prey to common dieting mistakes.

(If you want to apply for my fat loss coaching program, you can do so here.)

1. Gain awareness of current eating habits.

If you don’t understand what you’re doing now, it’s impossible to make well-informed decisions about how to move forward.

Oftentimes, people are already doing many things well. Yet their first instinct is to totally overhaul their nutrition and dive into a restrictive fad diet.

Identifying your baseline habits and routines can save you a lot of unnecessary headaches down the road.

Read more: All About Food Logging: Why and How

2. Fix your leaks.

Sometimes, one or two bad habits are behind the majority of extra calories in your diet. If possible, I try to help people reduce or eliminate these things first. This is a great way to get some fast wins at the start of your journey.

If you want to learn more about this concept and start identifying some of your leaks, check out this article I wrote on the subject.

3. Reduce calories in a sustainable way.

This where the bulk of the work occurs when dieting

Some of my clients track calories or macros, others monitor their portions using other methods.

During this step, I work with clients to iron out all the details of their individual diets. This usually involves some experimentation to figure out what does and doesn’t work.

Key questions we address in this stage:

  • How can I eat in the most satisfying way possible while still staying in a caloric deficit?
  • How can I manage hunger and cravings?
  • What foods help me feel my best?
  • How can I make good food choices in challenging situations?

4. Change your environment.

This is the most underrated and under appreciated step in the entire process.

Most of us gain weight because we live in an environment that makes it insanely easy to overeat and difficult to make healthy choices. Your will power can only take you so far if everything (and everyone) around you is pushing you to fall back on your old habits.

To lose weight and keep it off, you need to reengineer your environment to support your new healthy lifestyle. This might mean making changes at home, at work, and even in your relationships.

5. Build related healthy habits.

The only thing you need to do to lose weight is sustain a caloric deficit, and the best way to do that is through dieting. However, this is much easier if you stay active, get enough sleep, and manage stress.

A few ways I can help you achieve your fat loss goals:

I coach my 1:1 clients through every step in this process. If you want custom help right now, you can apply for the program here and I’ll follow up.

I also run a 6 week group course – Sane and Simple Fat Loss – to help clients lose weight without losing their minds. In the course, I teach a six pillar system to help you navigate steps 1-4 above (we don’t really cover exercise). Topics include increasing awareness, managing portions, and which foods to eat and which to avoid.

Sane and Simple Fat Loss is coming back on Monday March 8! If you think you may be interested, you can join the waitlist to receive early, discounted access on February 26.

If you’re struggling to lose weight and keep it off despite your best efforts, join me in a free webinar to learn how to avoid the common dieting mistakes that are standing in your way.

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Who should count calories – and who shouldn’t?

My fitness journey began ten years ago when, during a routine check up, my doctor informed me that I was prediabtic. I was scared and knew I needed to make big changes to avoid a lifetime of illness.

However, this was not the first time I tried to lose weight. I knew for years that I wanted to change, but I didn’t know how. Without a concrete plan, I struggled to find my way.

Around the same time as my fateful appointment, I happened to discover a food blogger who had successfully lost a lot of weight. She laid out the steps she took to achieve her goals and many of them involved counting calories.

Losing weight always seemed like a mystical process beyond my grasp. Now, for the first time, I saw a clear path from where I was to where I wanted to go.

All I had to do was do a few calculations, start logging my food, and patiently trust the process.

I bought a food scale, learned to cook, and dutifully logged my calories every day. Right away I saw that I was eating WAY more calories than I realized. No wonder I was having so much trouble losing weight!

I used this data to experiment with different changes to my diet. For the first time, I saw real progress toward my goals and felt like I actually had the power to make this daunting change.

Calorie counting helped me with all of this:

  • It helped me detach from my extreme emotions about food and get objective.
  • It improved my relationship with hunger and cravings.
  • It showed me a clear connection between the foods I ate and the way I looked and felt.
  • It gave me the power to make changes based on actual data, not just how I was feeling. Instead of getting frustrated when my efforts didn’t match my results, I now clearly saw where I could make changes.
  • It eliminated my fear of “junk” foods, because I saw that I could enjoy them in reasonable amounts and still lose weight.
  • Most importantly, I actually saw real weight loss success.
On the left: just before I began my fat loss journey back in 2011. On the right: me in 2020.

Counting calories gets a bad rap in the fitness world.

Gurus love to tell you that counting is obsessive and that it destroys your relationship with food. I disagree with this appraisal because myself and countless clients have had the opposite experience.

Too many people give up on their weight loss goals because they feel like they’re working really hard with little to show for it. This is where having actual data can be so powerful: you clearly see what’s going on which gives you the opportunity to make more impactful changes.

If you wanted to improve your financial health, you’d start to track numbers and data. You’d create a budget, monitor spending, create a debt pay-off strategy, and make smart investments.

No financial advisor would tell you to just listen to how you feel and trust that you’ll instinctively know what to do. And no one would be able to help you if you had absolutely no idea where your money was going.

Some people may take tracking a little too far and waste half their work day watching market fluctuations. Most people, however, would simply view this data as an objective measure of their success or failure.

They’d know they’re doing the right stuff when they see more and more money in the bank. If the numbers go in the wrong direction, they can look at their spending and budgeting to see what may be causing the problem.

Calorie counting works in the same way. You have a “budget” of calories that you need to stay underneath to lose weight.

Once you understand how your favorite foods fit into your daily budget, you can choose to eat the ones that are the most filling, satisfying, and energizing without going over your number.

You don’t need to count calories forever. I don’t do it all year long, and I don’t force my clients to do it if it’s not a good fit.  But, if you’ve been struggling to lose weight for a long time, counting calories for a while can be a helpful and illuminating experience.

You may benefit from counting calories if:

  • You’ve been following popular diets (Keto, Weight Watchers, Paleo, Whole30, Atkins, etc.) but haven’t been able to lose weight.
  • You’re tried of feeling like you’re working really hard to lose weight but not seeing the results you expected.
  • You’ve never tried to lose weight before and you don’t know the calorie content of common foods.
  • You are a person who likes to make decisions based on numbers and data.
  • You want to be able to enjoy some of your favorite treat foods while you diet.
  • You are a pragmatic person who prefers systems and science vs relying on intuition and feelings.

If you want to learn more about setting calories for your goals, check out this blog post.

You may want to skip counting calories if:

  • You’re incredibly busy and the thought of adding even one more task to your day stresses you out.
  • You’ve tried to count calories in the past and you know for a fact that it creates unnecessary stress, anxiety, or food obsession.
  • You don’t care about losing weight and would rather work on eating in a mindful, moderate way.
  • You have a history of disordered eating and have been instructed not to count, weigh, or measure food (please note this isn’t true across the board, some people – myself included – use calorie counting or food logging to help them recover from disordered eating).

If you want to learn more about how to lose weight without counting calories, check out this blog post.

And if you want some help with your personal fat loss goals, you can apply for my 1:1 coaching program here.

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A New Way to Think About Trigger Foods

A lot of nutrition coaches will tell you that there are good foods and bad foods.

“Bad foods” typically include things like fast food, baked goods, fried foods, and candy. Depending on which diet camp the coach belongs to, more contentious things like grains, dairy, meat, or even fruit could all be on the do-not-eat list.

There is typically a lot of shame, guilt, morality, and fear-mongering tied up in this approach to eating.

Early in my fitness journey, I fell prey to many of these questionable nutrition dogmas. I tried numerous fad diets looking for the perfect way to eat and lose weight.

My entire experience of food was heavily influenced by this good food, bad food dilemma. I remember the anxiety I would feel at a party or at a restaurant if I couldn’t find foods that fit within my narrow menu of acceptable options.

When I inevitably did eat an off-plan food, it sent me into a spiral of overeating because “I already blew it.”

As you might imagine, this approach did very little to help me lose weight. It certainly didn’t help me live a healthier life or improve my relationship with food.

These days, I consider myself a diet agnostic. I don’t believe there is one best diet for everyone and I never instruct my clients to follow a specific diet (although I will answer questions and provide information if someone asks me my thoughts).

Part of this shift has involved removing morality from food. I no longer think of foods in black and white terms like good or bad. Food is just food, and I think there are always instances when it’s appropriate to eat foods other coaches may consider off-limits.

Despite this attitude, however, I don’t think you should just eat whatever you want, whenever you want all the time. It’s still useful to consider which foods work for you and which do not.

This is especially true if you’re trying to lose weight, or if you have a history of disordered eating like I do.

I love the concept of red, yellow, and green light foods that I learned from Precision Nutrition.

Red light foods are foods you don’t want to eat very often, or ever.

This category includes foods you’re allergic to, or those which strongly clash with your values (eg. meat for a vegetarian).

Red light foods could also include foods you have a really hard time regulating yourself around. For example, I know there are particular foods that are heavily associated with binging for me, and I choose to avoid these foods.

Note that there isn’t necessarily anything inherently wrong with these foods, they just aren’t a good fit for your body, psychology, or goals.

Yellow light foods are foods that you can enjoy in moderation but don’t want to eat all the time.

Sometimes these foods are higher in calories, so we want to be mindful of portion sizes so we don’t accidentally overeat (think nuts, nut butters, pasta, etc.).

Other times we may feel uncomfortable if we eat too many of these foods. For example, many people are mildly lactose intolerant and can only eat so much dairy before they start to experience side effects.

In other situations still, yellow light foods may be treat foods that we can enjoy in small amounts but want to be careful not to overindulge. I usually have a couple of chocolate bars in the house, but I limit myself to one or two squares at a time.

Green light foods are foods that make your body and mind feel good and support your goals.

They should make up the bulk of your eating if you want to look, feel, and perform your best. Although the specific selections will vary for each person, green light foods include things like fruits, veggies, lean meats, whole grains, beans and legumes, and eggs.

How to use this system:

  • Most of your meals should consist of green light foods.
  • Occasionally, you can enjoy yellow light foods in appropriate portions.
  • Skip red light foods most of the time. I would not keep these foods in your house, and if you do decide to eat them I would be very intentional about the setting.

Keep in mind that these categories are fluid and will likely change as you get older or chase different goals. And remember to remove shame from the equation. Red light foods are not inherently bad, they just don’t work for you at this time.

Are you struggling to lose weight and keep it off despite your best efforts? Join me in a free webinar to learn how to avoid the common dieting mistakes that are standing in your way.

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The Most Underrated Tip for Weight Loss

The first thing most people do when they decide to lose weight or build healthier habits is decide which foods to eat (or skip) and how much of them to include in their new diets.

It’s great to consider which foods work for you and which don’t. And it’s very helpful to learn about the calorie content of your favorite meals, or to focus on eating more whole, nutrient foods.

However, I think there is another factor that nearly everyone misses that may actually be more important to their long-term success.

You do not live in a vacuum; you’re highly influenced by the people and things around you at all times.

Therefore, in order to lose weight and keep it off for good, you need to change your environment to support your changing lifestyle.

There are a lot of great things about being a human in the modern world. Unfortunately, the same conveniences that help us live safer and less stressful lives also make it much, much harder to eat in a healthy, sustainable, and moderate way.

You can find cheap, delicious, and highly processed foods everywhere you look. They’re in the break room at work, in every corner store, at family get togethers, and even in our own homes.

These foods are engineered to make it difficult for us to stop eating them. They also happen to be high in calories and low in nutrition, a terrible combination for health and weight.

It takes way more effort to resist these foods than to just eat them. And it’s even harder to actively replace those foods with minimally processed whole foods, especially if you’re not used to the taste of these foods or don’t know how to cook them.

Many people fail in their weight loss efforts because everything in their world is conspiring against their attempts to make healthier choices. You only have so much willpower at your disposal before you start defaulting to easier options.

That’s why it’s so important to build a healthier environment as you’re working to build new eating habits.

Here are a few ways you can change your environment to support weight loss and improved health:

Don’t buy trigger foods.

I’m not the type of coach who says you can never enjoy your favorite treats again (in fact, I think that approach is actively counterproductive). However, you do need to get honest with yourself about your relationship with certain foods.

If you know you have a hard time eating just one serving of something, or if it tends to trigger binge eating or food guilt, you’re better off not keeping that food in the house. If you buy it, you will eventually end up eating it. 

Read More: A New Way to Think About Trigger Foods

Keep snack foods out of sight.

If you do buy treat foods, try to keep them tucked away in a pantry or cabinet where you don’t have to see them every time you go in the kitchen. Out of sight, out of mind. 

Make healthy foods highly visible.

This is the flip side of the point above. I keep a big bowl of fresh fruits on my counter, and as a result I tend to reach for fruit when I want a snack. Some of my clients chop fresh veggies at the start of the week and put them in the front of the fridge. Now, when they open the fridge looking for a snack, the veggies will be the first thing they see.

I strongly recommend using a list to grocery shop so you already know what you need to buy and don’t need to make decisions at the store.

Be smarter about your grocery shopping.

Try to do most of your shopping around the perimeter of the store (that’s where the produce, meat, fish, dairy, and eggs are located) and only venture into the aisles to replenish pantry staples that are on your list.

It’s also wise to have a snack before you hit the store and never grocery shop when you’re hungry.

Some of my clients have had a lot of success using grocery delivery services. They only order what they need and aren’t tempted by treats at the store. This option may be even more appealing during the age of COVID-19.

Read more: How I Learned to Love Grocery Shopping


Plan for your restaurant meals.

If possible, try to be the person who decides where the group is going to eat or order take out. This allows you to pick a place that will have healthy or on-plan options for you to order.

Take a look at the menu before the meal. If you have no idea what you’re going to eat until you’re about to order, you’re more likely to make an emotional decision or say “screw it” and order more than you want.

Read More: Eating Out on a Diet

Plate your food.

Have you ever eaten an entire bag of chips while you mindlessly watched tv? I’m definitely raising my hand here. This happens because we tend to keep eating until we’ve finished the food in front of us, no matter how hungry we are.

To solve this problem, always serve yourself food on a plate or in a bowl. If you want to have some chips, put what you want in a bowl and then put the rest of the bag away.

Minimize distractions while eating.

Many Americans eat as they work, watch tv, or scroll on their phones. You’re way more likely to overeat when you do this, and you’ll get a lot less satisfaction out of your meals.

Try to eat without distractions as often as possible. Pay attention to your food, eat slowly, and savor the experience.

Get your loved ones on board.

It’s very hard to make lasting nutrition changes if everyone else in the house is eating junk food.

I know it’s not easy to do – especially with kids – but you may need to sit down and have a conversation with the people closest to you about what you’re doing and why it’s important to you. See if you can get others to be a little more supportive, even if they aren’t ready to change their own eating habits. 

Changing your environment to make it easier to make healthy choices and harder to make not-so-healthy choices is one of the best things you can do to help you achieve your health and fitness goals. Remember, your life and choices are deeply connected with your environment. It’s impossible to remove yourself from this influence, but you can make changes that will make your journey a lot easier. 

Are you struggling to lose weight and keep it off despite your best efforts? Join me in a free webinar to learn how to avoid the common dieting mistakes that are standing in your way.

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What’s more important, diet or exercise?

I am a true believer in the power of exercise.

No matter who you are or what goals you have, I guarantee you can benefit from moving your body on a regular basis.

One reason why exercise is so powerful is that it is a keystone habit. In his book The Power of Habit, Charles Duhigg defines a keystone habit as a super habit that causes you to adopt additional positive habits.

Think of it as the first domino in a habit chain reaction. During the process of implementing the keystone habit, many people consciously or unconsciously build other helpful habits to support their efforts.

When we start working out, we tend to adopt other healthy behaviors.

We might go to bed earlier so we can perform better in the next day’s training session.

Maybe we start eating more protein so we can see faster progress from our workouts.

Before we know it, we’re looking, feeling, and performing better as a result of all the changes we’ve made to support our new exercise habit.

Working out on a regular basis can be an incredibly powerful catalyst for change in many areas of your life. And let’s be honest – most people feel it’s easier to start exercising than to clean up their nutrition.

For these reasons, I usually encourage people to start their fitness journey with exercise. Move often in ways that feel good and occasionally challenge your body in safe, productive ways.

Exercise is amazing, but it’s not always enough.

Unfortunately, despite its propensity to be a keystone habit, exercise by itself is not enough to get most people all the way to the finish line.

This is especially true if you have a body composition goal like losing weight. If your diet isn’t in line with your body size, goals, and activity levels, you will not see the progress you’re hoping for with exercise alone.

This misalignment is the reason why some people who hit the gym religiously can’t seem to get the scale or their measurements to budge.

In these cases, diet becomes more important than exercise.

Why is this the case?

Fat loss occurs when we consume fewer calories than our bodies use over a prolonged period of time.

Read more: The only three things you need to lose fat

Although our energy balance mechanisms are actually a lot more complicated, it’s helpful to think of this in terms of exercise (calories out) and diet (calories in).

There is only so much exercise you can do before you run out of time, burn out, or hurt yourself. We also tend to burn a lot fewer calories working out than we think (the number your wearable tells you is likely inaccurate).

Eating, on the other hand, happens multiple times every day. Most of us are bad at estimating how many calories we consume, and the world around us is filled with tempting, tasting, high calorie foods.

It’s criminally easy to wipe out any calorie burn from exercise with a big meal, a few drinks, or a post-workout treat.

Even “healthy” foods can contribute to this problem. If you burn 200 calories during a hard workout and then drink a 400 calorie smoothie on the way out of the gym, you’ve wiped out all your efforts and then some.

This is why paying attention to portion sizes through calorie counting or some other method is an essential element of successful fat loss.

Read more: All about food logging

Ultimately, you have a lot more chances to control the calories going in to your body than you do over the calories coming out.

So what’s more important, diet or exercise?

Both diet and exercise are essential elements of building a fit body and living a healthy life.

However, if you’re trying to lose weight, diet is ultimately more important than exercise.

If your weight isn’t moving in the direction you’d like despite regular exercise, perhaps it’s time to take a closer look at your diet and nutrition.

Do you want to ditch the overly restrictive fad diets and lose weight in a sane and sustainable way? Join the waitlist for the next round of my Sane and Simple Fat Loss group coaching program.

In this signature six week program, I teach clients the basic principles they need to follow to lose weight without losing their minds.

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How to accept and deal with hunger

Let me be the first to admit I’ve always struggled with hunger.

I rarely get a growling stomach like most people. Instead, I get very edgy, irritable, and short tempered. I like to think I’m a pretty laid back person, but watch out if I’m hungry. On more than one occasion, I’ve done or said something I regretted because I wasn’t thinking straight and didn’t realize it until after I’d eaten.

Over the years, I learned to attack my hunger as soon as it appeared to avoid these undesirable side effects.

I’d snack and overeat all day long because I was more comfortable with being overfull than feeling even the slightest hint of hunger.

I also spent a lot of time feeling sorry for myself. Why did I always get so hungry? Why did hunger seem to affect me more than other people? If only I didn’t feel so hungry or if it wasn’t so uncomfortable, then I’d be able to finally lose weight.

I’ll never forget my first experience working with my long-time coach Bryan Krahn years ago. I complained to Bryan because I was feeling pretty hungry during the day in between meals. He was pleased and told me that feeling the hunger was a good sign!

Although hunger was still uncomfortable for me, I began to see it in a different light. I begrudgingly made friends with my hunger because I realized it was indicating that I was heading in the right direction with my fat loss goals.

Hunger is not an emergency.

Here’s the thing: some hunger is not a bad thing. If you’re trying to lose weight, it’s an inevitable and necessary part of your journey.

When I stopped my personal pity party and accepted this, I was able to focus my energy in a more productive direction, namely learning to get more comfortable with discomfort in the name of my bigger goals.

I realized that my hunger was not an emergency (even through it felt like one) and that I could survive to my next meal without snacking.

Perhaps you’ve heard that you should never feel hungry. There are a lot of misconceptions about hunger and what it means.

Like anything, hunger exists on a continuum. It’s normal to experience some hunger in between meals. In fact, if you’re not hungry at all, you probably shouldn’t eat much (even if it’s supposed to be meal time). This is true for everyone except people who are actively trying to gain weight.

Those who are trying to losing weight will likely experience higher levels of hunger. This hunger may start sooner after meals or be more intense than if you’re eating at maintenance.

However, if you take it too far and chase hunger for its own sake or try to see how little you can eat, then you’re starting to enter the realm of disordered eating.

I am in no way telling you to starve yourself or that the hungrier you feel, the better your results will be. But I do encourage you to get honest with yourself about your relationship with hunger.

These days, I still struggle with the way hunger affects my mood and energy levels. The difference is that I no longer delude myself into thinking I’ll be free of hunger if I want to get and stay lean.

Some tips for reducing and managing hunger

Routine is a very powerful tool to help you manage hunger. If you can eat your meals at the same times, your body will adapt and you may start to experience less random hunger throughout the day.

On a related note, sometimes changing your meal timing can help with hunger. For example, if you aren’t hungry when you wake up but feel extremely hungry later, try fasting in the morning and pushing your regular meals later in the day.

A diet that consists of mostly whole foods will fill you up a lot more than a diet filled with processed foods. Protein, fiber, and healthy fats can be particularly satiating. Solid foods are also more filling than liquid foods like shakes and smoothies.

Read more: How I overcame my dislike of vegetables

Drink plenty of water throughout the day. Aim for half your bodyweight in ounces every day. In a pinch, black coffee or tea can also help dull hunger pangs.

When you do eat, practice eating slowly and mindfully. Chew your food and pay attention to the experience of eating. Don’t wolf down your meals because that often leads to feelings of dissatisfaction and false hunger after meals.

Read more: Make this change to feel less hungry and more satisfied

Practice sitting with hunger when it arises. Set a timer for 20 minutes and do something else before deciding if you want to eat. Hunger comes in waves, and many times you may find you can wait longer to eat.

Start asking yourself if you’re really hungry or just craving something. One mental test I use on myself is to ask if I’m hungry enough to eat a plate of plain chicken and broccoli. If I say no, then I know I’m experiencing a craving.

Have some perspective. It may seem preachy, but it’s helpful to me to remember that choosing to go without food in the name of fat loss is a luxury. Many people in the world – including in my own city and country – are regularly forced to go without food for extended periods of time. This stops me from feeling so sorry for myself.

I know talking about hunger is not very sexy, but I strongly believe getting more comfortable with hunger is one of the most powerful tools you can use in your efforts to lose weight or maintain your weight.

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Training to Be Harder to Kill

Like many people, my fitness journey began because I wanted to lose weight.

By the time I got serious about this, there was more on the line than just looking a certain way. I was 19 and prediabetic, facing a future of chronic disease if I didn’t make some serious changes.

Long story short, I lost 70lbs in the first year. I fell in love with lifting weights and learned how to cook, buy groceries, and count calories. For the first time since middle school, I fit into smaller sizes and had to buy a completely new wardrobe

My second major goal – which lasted about four years – was to get as strong as possible. I was introduced to the sport of powerlifting and got hooked.

My training was all about putting up big numbers on the back squat, bench press, and barbell deadlift. I even competed in a powerlifting meet back in April 2014 where I set an all-time personal deadlift PR of 330lbs.

I’m now almost ten years into my personal fitness journey. Increasingly, my goals have shifted beyond just building a lean body and lifting heavy things.

I still want to look good and feel strong (who doesn’t?), but I’ve realized that the biggest benefit of lifting weights is how it helps you later on in life.

You have control than you think over how you age.

When most of us think about getting older, we assume that losing strength, mobility, stamina, and power is inevitable.

I know I constantly hear people saying things like “I’m just old” or “I guess this is just part of getting older.”

Here’s the thing: much of the physical decline we perceive as just part of getting older is not set in stone.

The appearance of your body may change, but you can hold on to much of its capacity if you’re stay active and prioritize resistance training.

One of the biggest drivers of age-related decline is loss of muscle mass. This causes your metabolism to slow down along with a host of other negative consequences.

But studies indicate that you can actually maintain much of your muscle mass as long as you keep using it. You don’t need to be a pro bodybuilder either; you just need to engage in some kind of regular resistance training.

Another challenge of getting older is being more susceptible to injury. Too many older people die as a result of slips and falls.

It doesn’t have to be this way – you can dramatically reduce the chances of falls by maintaining some level of balance, speed, and power.

Here are a few things you can do to train for health and longevity: 

Train all the major movement patterns. Everyone should perform some variation of a squat, hinge, upper body push, and upper body pull on a regular basis. If you want to add a few more, I also recommend training gait (walking and carries), crawling, single leg training, and rotation (both resisting and creating it).

Read more: Core training beyond crunches

Pick exercises that work for your body and skill level. Not everyone is cut out to use barbells. And if you’re intimidated by the weight room, there are plenty of other resistance training options that can work. I strongly suggest experimenting to find exercise variations that feel good for you. 

If you want help figuring out which squat and deadlift variations work for you, you can download my free Squat and Deadlift School ebook here.

Don’t do things that hurt. This is related to the point above. You would be surprised how many people push through pain during exercise because they thing it’s just part of the deal. There is always a way to to modify an exercise or train around pain. Your joints will thank you.

Read more: You got hurt. Now what?

Power training is for everyone. Being fast and responsive is what helps you prevent falls and quickly react to other stimuli in the environment. Learning how to jump and land safely is hugely beneficial. If you can’t jump, try incorporating medicine ball throws or just going for power walks from time to time.

Do mobility work every day. The last thing you want is for your minor aches and pains to turn into more serious problems or permanent restrictions. I recommend doing drills to mobilize your hips, upper back, shoulders, and ankles as often as possible.

Read more: How should I warm up?

Work on getting up and down from the floor. Being able to get up and down from the floor by yourself is hugely important for health and safety as we age. If possible, try to get up and down from the floor at least once in every workout. Turkish getups and lunges are especially helpful here.

When in doubt, keep up your cardio fitness. The best thing you can do for your health is to move every day. If all you can do is go for a short walk, make that your goal. This keeps your heart, brain, muscles, and many other systems healthy and happy.

Read more: All about cardio

I still work out to build muscle and get lean. But I also want to stay strong and maintain my independence for as long as possible.

I want to be able to climb stairs, carry my groceries, and take active vacations. I do this work now so that I’m harder to kill if I’m lucky enough to still here in a few decades.

If you’re a millennial like me, now is the perfect time to build a sustainable strength training routine. Find activities you enjoy and set meaningful goals so you can challenge yourself and stay engaged.

If you’re a little older, now is still the perfect time to lift weights or move your body in a way that’s appropriate for you.

As long as you’re still living, it’s not too late to get in better shape and reap the benefits of resistance training. If you want some help figuring out what this looks like for you, you can apply for my online training program here.

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You Don’t Need the Gym. But You Do Need This.

Hear me out on this one. 

I truly love the gym. Over the years, I’ve probably spent more time in weight rooms than anywhere else (except for maybe practice rooms back when I was a musician.)

COVID-19 threw me and many of my fellow meatheads off our game. We’d become so reliant on training in a particular way that we thought we’d never be able to maintain our fitness level or our gains without access to lots of weights.

Thankfully, my worries were misplaced. Through writing (and performing) dozens of home workouts over the last two months, I’ve learned that you can keep kicking ass no matter where you are or what you have access to.

Read more: Five ways to get motivated work out at home

That’s because the principles that drive progress – focus, hard work, intensity, open mindedness, and consistency – don’t require anything beyond your body and your brain.

–>You don’t need the gym to get results. But you do still need to stay consistent and check the exercise box as often as possible in ways that you enjoy.

Read more: Not seeing gym results? You’re probably making this mistake.

–>You don’t need heavy weights to maintain or build strength and muscle. But you do still need to train with intensity and push your limits.

Read more: Five ways to make bodyweight training more challenging

–>You don’t need lots of equipment to have a fun and effective workout. But you do need to get creative and make the best use of the tools at your disposal.

Read more: Turn household items into exercise equipment

Is it nice to work out in a gym with heavy weights and cool toys? Absolutely.

Will I be back lifting and helping clients in the gym as soon as it’s safe? You bet.

But that doesn’t mean I’m going to stop training myself or my clients in the meantime.

Accountability, structure, and guidance are three more things we all need even though gyms are closed. Most of us don’t have the time, knowledge, or desire to consistently create effective and engaging workouts for ourselves, especially when gyms are closed and our options seem limited.

I provide this service to my online clients. If you’re looking for a creative, supportive, and experienced trainer to guide you through the process of working out at home, you can apply for my online training program here.